​An estimated 154 million adults, or 75% of the US population, aged ≥20 y drink coffee; 49% drink coffee daily (Loftfield et al., 2016). It's been hypothesized that coffee and/or caffeine initiates a series of pharmacological effects that lead to the relaxation of penile smooth muscle and that subsequently could improve ED (Adebiyi & Adaikan, 2004).

In a study of diabetic rats treated with 10 and 20 mg/kg of caffeine per day, caffeine consumption improved the erectile function of the rats by up-regulating penile cGMP, which causes smooth muscle to relax (Yang et al., 2013).

Analyzing data for 3724 men (≥20 years old) who participated in the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, Lopez et al. (2015) found that men who drank 2-3 cups or 3-4 cups of coffee per day were less likely to report ED compared to men who drank less than a cup per day.

In another analysis of 7,298 men aged 40-75 years old who had ED, comparing highest (≥4 cups/day) with lowest (0 cups/day) coffee intake, Lopez et al. (2018) found that long-term coffee intake was not associated with risk of ED.

There is a theory that coffee can possibly pump up testosterone concentrations, thus enhancing blood flow to the penis. For example, Wedick et al., (2012) found that caffeinated coffee significantly increased total testosterone after 4 weeks. However, Lopez et al. (2019) identified no linear relationship between caffeine intake and testosterone levels in the total population.

In any case, it appears that regularly drinking coffee isn't going to negatively impact your sexual function.

​Many men that I work with have explained to me that they aren't sure how to healthily express their sexual desire, how to embody their sexual energy. They often share stories of having to mask their sexual feelings, pretending that they're not their, or pretending that they're something else.

These men are worried that their sexual energy will be intrusive or uncomfortable for the people around them. They've been told that male sexuality and masculine sexual expression is predatory and coercive - which it can be.

This is reinforced by the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength is everything while emotions are a weakness; where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are measured, while supposedly ‘feminine’ traits — which can range from emotional vulnerability to simply not being hypersexual — are the means by which your status as ‘man’ can be taken away.

What I say to these men is that hiding or stifling your sexual desire, pretending that it isn't there, or disguising it as something else, will only perpetuate this problem. Because often your expression of sexual feelings is then perceived as disingenuous and disconcerting.

For these men, there is need to peel back the layers of conditioning and fear. There is the fear of being "that guy." There is the fear of being aroused in public. God forbid you have an erection in public. There is the fear of sexual rejection if you do express your desires. And so on.

I teach men to comfortably embody their sexuality, to breathe into their sexual energy, to not let it create tension in their body, to cultivate integrity with their desires, to communicate with honesty from the heart.

If it isn't a banana in your pocket, and you really are happy to see someone, are you able to own that feeling, be comfortable and confident with it as you experience it in your body, be present with it and communicate it with both your body language and voice?

Try approaching it this way and see how things shift for you as well as the people you're interacting with.

The term erogenous zone comes from the Greek words eros, meaning "love" and -genḗs, meaning "born." It originally referred to the now declassified mental disorder of female hysteria and the apparent areas of the body which evoked orgasm as a form of treatment (Ellis, 1914).
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In the 1930s, fashion historian James Laver and psychologist John Flugel theorized that women's fashions were governed by the "seduction principle" and their clothing was designed to attract. According to them, women's fashion attracted men by selectively exposing and concealing various parts of the female anatomy. Thus, fashion change was based on "shifting erogenous zones."

So, erogenous zones have historically been defined as areas of the human body which may generate a sexual response. Specific areas of the body, such as the lips, nipples and genitals, are associated with sexual response because they have a high density of nerve endings and may have a capacity to stimulate arousal (Schober et al., 2011), especially compared to normal-haired skin (Winkelmann, 1959).

The problem with thinking about the body as having specific zones which stimulate an erotic response is that it prioritizes and even fetishizes these areas. I notice this is especially true for people in male bodies. The thinking is that they can only experience pleasurable sensations from their cock, that this is their only erogenous zone.

Really though, your whole body is one big erogenous zone. You're not just your dick, you're whole body is one big dick. Your whole body can experience pleasure. Don't limit your pleasure to one or two zones

Something I see in the spirituality/sacred sexuality community is the Appeal to Nature fallacy, which can be summarised: (1) That which is natural is good, (2) X is natural, (3) therefore, X is good. It can also be the negative sense: (1) That which is natural is good, (2) Y is not natural, (3) therefore, Y is not good. The Appeal to Nature is a logical fallacy because it poorly defines what is considered “natural” and presupposes that everything “natural” is indeed “good.”

I’ve also noticed the Appeal to Nature fallacy in discussions about sex toys. Among certain purveyors, it's believed that vibrations and synthetic materials are not natural and are thus not good and should therefore not be used. Some believe that using a vibrator will lead to “Dead Vagina Syndrome," a significant decrease in vaginal sensitivity.

When people say vibrators are unnatural and shouldn’t be used, my instinct is to retort, “Cars and planes are also unnatural, so does that mean we should never use them, and just stick to walking instead?” This isn’t conducive for civil discussion so here's some research.

While genital desensitization was reported in one study by 16.5% of women who have ever used a vibrator, it was largely described as mild and transitory (Herbenick et al., 2009). In other words, the genital nerves may adapt to high intensity vibratory stimulation and thus be temporarily less responsive to other forms of stimulation or lower intensity stimulation, but this state improves quickly with the introduction of new types of stimulation. Similarly, it is unlikely that, given the continuous restructuring of female genital nerve beds, vibrator use could result in long-term genital desensitization (Prause et al., 2012).

Yes, the pudendal nerve can potentially be temporarily overwhelmed by constant vibration. Nerves like variety. To avoid vibrator fatigue, choose a toy with different intensity settings and patterns to switch things up. It can also help to put up a barrier, like a sheet or underwear, between the vibrator and clitoris. Focussing on the whole genitals, not just exclusively the clitoris, can also help prevent temporary desensitization.

​This is just my opinion. As I understand it, Kundalini Tantra practices are about exploring Shakti, the Divine Feminine, the Great Goddess. Shakti is essentially energy; the spiritual power within every existing thing, including human beings.

The universe operates in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. Everything vibrates at a molecular level (Magnasco, 2013). In fact, resonance patterns - or the harmonization of vibrations - have been observed in living and non-living structures of many types (Hunt & Schooler, 2019). Kundalini is sometimes referred to as the Divine Vibration.

So, Kundalini is ever-present. Its an energy that has always and will always exist. It is the energy that our physical and subtle bodies are imbued with. This can be observed in the womb using a fluorescent sensor. Before the development of an embryo or anything physical, there is a spark of light (Duncan et al., 2016).
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This light, this energy, this vibration, from which the body is formed, is Kundalini. It is always there, but the physical and energetic blockages that our body develops prevent us from observing or accessing this energy. Like light shining through a window. Kundalini is the light. Our body is the window. And our blockages are like mud on the window which prevents the light from shining through.

Kundalini isn't dormant. It doesn't need to be awakened. It is always there, we just need to remove our blockages, wipe away the mud, and allow the light to shine through us. We can learn practices to release these blockages. This is what a lot of Tantric practices do, including sexual practices.

Sexual energy can be awoken, it can be aroused and drawn up from the genitals, like a serpent rising from the base of the spine. But convulsions and orgasmic waves of energy are not Kundalini. They're experiences of sexual energy, which can be used to clear blockages. That is, sexual energy can be moved through the body to help us wipe away the mud and observe the light of Kundalini. Although sexual energy and Kundalini are linked, there is a distinction between the two.