Today on the Men, Sex & Pleaure podcast, I chat with Avi Kabani. Avi is an author who writes about the nature of sexual energy, deep states of lovemaking, and the challenges of modern-day intimate relationships. He is best known for exploring these topics in relation to men, women, culture, and self. Drawing on the work of David Deida, Avi shared with me his take on sex therapy and sexual art. We spoke about the energetics of lovemaking and how to take your sexual experiences to those deeper levels of intimacy. If you’re familiar with Deida’s work, you’ll really resonate with this conversation about sex, healing and masculinity.
- Avi shares his story and where he is now
- The challenges of bringing this work to men
- Expressions of masculinity
- Avi’s interpretation of sex therapy
- Sexual healing and why it is necessary
- Sexual art and energetical lovemaking
- David Deida: Function, Flow and Glow
- Masculinity and the military
- Advice for deepening intimacy
Avi’s website: https://www.avikabani.com/
Avi’s Instagram: @avi_kabani
Views and opinions expressed by Avi Kabani do not reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company.
On episode 23 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast I chat with Lucas Aoun, a leading Australian biohacker, with a global mission to optimize wellbeing, physical and mental performance. He is currently completing his Naturopathy degree in Melbourne. He is highly respected in the realm of Nootropics, Testosterone optimization, and athletic performance. We talk about testosterone and why men should care about their testosterone levels. We also discuss dopamine and other neurotransmitters as well as how to optimize your sexual health with testicle icing. If you’re interested in biohacking your body, this is the episode for you.
- Lucas tells us about his experiences with nootropics
- Optimizing health and performance
- What is testosterone and why should we care about it?
- Too much vs too little testosterone
- Natural ways to optimize T levels
- Other hormones and their impact on our body
- Dopamine: Detoxing and depletion
- The benefits of icing your testicles
- More tips and advice for optimizing your sexual health
Lucas’ Website: https://www.ergogenic.health/
Lucas’ Instagram: @ergogenic_health
Free Testosterone Webinar: https://www.ergogenichealth.com.au/masterclass/testosterone
Free Sleep Hacks Webinar: https://www.ergogenichealth.com.au/masterclass/sleep
On episode 22 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Matthew Ayriss. Matthew is a Masculinity and Sacred Sexuality Men’s Coach, Shamanic-Somatic Healer & Conscious Content Creator. Matthew facilitates online group coaching programs, in-person immersive experiences, men's retreats, tantra and transformational festivals and has hosted men's circles and group Men’s retreats across the world. Currently running the 3rd round of his online group coaching program for men, The Pillar - Masculine Sexual and Emotional Mastery. Through his one-on-one work and online programs, Matthew guides men into deepening their masculine purpose integrating and understanding the conditioning of their past, their desires and fears and becoming the master of their sexual energy. Over the years as a healer and facilitator he has supported both men and women in coming into their fullest expression of their authentic self, healing and integrating their past wounding while supporting them in embodying the essence of who they truly are, guiding his clients in stepping into their most authentic and fulfilling life. Matthew and I spoke about unhealthy and healthy expressions of masculinity and femininity. We also shared opinions about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s ‘WAP’ song. We also addressed self-love, overcoming male body shame and transforming masturbation.
- Matthew shares some of his journey
- Masculine and feminine cross polarity
- Healthy vs Unhealthy expressions
- ‘WAP’ and contemporary sexual expression
- Problems with language and media
- Grounded masculinity
- Self-love, self-pleasure and self-worth
- Male body positivity
- Transforming masturbation with prostate play.
Matthew’s website: www.themasculinepillar.com
On episode 21 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I had the pleasure of talking with Mental Health Practitioner, Tobias Penno, Bach. Sci. Engineering, Masters of Social Work (Hons; Research Prize Faculty of Health & Medical Science UWA) Tobias is an Emotional Health Practitioner & Social Worker with a background in Government Child Protection and Counselling. After years of professionally managing extreme child, family and relationship stress, Tobias has found his passion in healing Emotional Pain & Trauma through the body. Tobias currently runs a clinical practice, Emotional Healthcare, where he combines somatic techniques with narrative therapy, as well as working with people to prepare and integrate psychedelic experiences. Tobias is a researcher at the University of Western Australia, with an award-winning dissertation titled How Ayahuasca Offers Psychosocial Wellbeing, and is currently working on a PhD researching the links between attachment trauma, the body, and best-practice in psychedelic integration therapy. We spoke about the similarities between the sexuality and psychedelic industries and communities, from the challenges to the successes.
- Tobias shares a bit of his story
- Therapeutic vs Recreational use of drugs
- What it's like to have sex on psychedelics
- Psychedelic vs Antidepressant model of therapy
- Integration and aftercare for peak experiences
- Supporting altered states of consciousness
- The ACE model of intervention
- Fast food analogy of sex and drugs
- MDMA assisted psychotherapy
- Using ecstasy for ecstatic self-pleasure
Tobias' website: https://www.emotionalhealthcare.com.au/
On episode 20 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Josh Fairleigh. Josh grew up on the east coast of Australia, surfing, skating, boxing, fishing, loving all the outdoor active lifestyle this environment allows. School was very low on the list; this resulted in a early school drop out and the introduction of his first job in the surfboard industry. Surfing being Josh’s life passion; he shaped custom surfboards for about 15 years until his Saturn return when he began to see the environmental impact of the industry and pictured his own health in another 15 years. This was the time when Josh became very interested in health and natural medicines. After an awakening during a yoga course in Thailand with some influential teachers Josh began studying Ayurveda, Yoga, Reiki, Pranic Healing and Shamanic Crystal work and finally found the passion for academic education that he could not find in the earlier school years. Josh now teaches Breath workshops and does energy and Shamanic Healing’s. Josh became interested in Feng Shui as he spent many years traveling the world and Australia, through this travelling from town to town, country to country he was aware of his own moods, perception and reality changing; which made him curious as to how much our environment has an effect on our reality, from the weather, the land forms, water quality, different beliefs, colours, shapes and the spiritual energy. Josh has studied Feng Shui and Environmental studies with the Australian College of Environmental Studies. He now emphasises Breathwork as a tool to facilitate spiritual, mental, physical and emotional health. This approach and training touches all of these aspects of life; from physical fitness, to harmonising our internal and external energy bodies.
We spoke about Josh's Lyme Disease and how it has affected his relationship with himself, his wife and his daughter, particularly with regards to how he perceives his masculinity. We also spoke about conscious conception and what men can do to contribute to the conceiving process.
- Josh story
- Contracting Lyme Disease
- Trusting teachers and cultivating discernment
- Physical health and relationships
- Shifting perceptions about masculinity
- Can you look yourself in the eye?
- Unpacking conscious conception
- A man's role in the conceiving process
- Bringing consciousness into the conceiving process
Cam's Instagram: @thecamfraser
Cam's website: www.cam-fraser.com
On episode 19 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, today's episode I chat with a dear brother of mine, Tim Morrison. He is a leading Men's work facilitator and transformational coach, he is also a multi instrumentalist and gifted shamanic, somatic bodyworker who uses sacred sound and breath to create deep transformational spaces Tim guides people on the path of personal transformation. He initiates a deep inner journey to walk people home to themselves, to connect back to the earth, back to who they truly are so they can live and lead from their heart. His passion is to walk through the shadows of deep change. Tim is building a transformational movement where everyone is guided to consciously lead within their own life, so they can live a life of purpose and fulfilment in their own genius. Tim was initiated onto the shamanic path from spirit and plant medicines, along with having trained in breath work, jungle medicine with the Katukina tribe of Brazil and worked with the Shipibo and Mestiso lineage in Peru. His focus now is on expanding consciousness and deepening human connection. We talk about the intersection of men's work and sexuality as well as the transmission of sexuality teachings in the Tantra community.
- Tim's journey from fighter to warrior
- Being that creepy, seedy, sexual guy
- Parental wounding and sex
- Men teaching men about sex
- Tantric Gurus and sexual abuse
- Ethical standards in sacred sexuality work
- Neediness, weakness and sex
- Holding space for the erotic feminine
- The difference between conflict and challenge
Tim's Instagram: @timmorrison__
Cam's Instagram: @thecamfraser
On episode 18 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with a beautiful man who I met in New Zealand a few years ago. We shared a meal together and I resonates with so much of his story. His name is Franko Heke and he is on a mission to raise consciousness through his music and workshops. Drawing on ancient mantra in combination with his own cultural roots, Franko’s devotional sessions are bound to coax your own divine voice into the open with his distinct fresh sounds for today. With years of touring rock music under his belt, Franko’s compass has drawn him north toward a movement, which brings people together, celebrating our unique gifts, our connection to one another and to mother earth. Sought after for yoga, meditation and transformational festival events, Franko’s boundless energy for the betterment of all beings. Having opened for Xavier Rudd and Nahko & Medicine for the people as well as sharing the microphone with Donavon Frankenreiter, Franko is poised to have his message heard far and wide. We spoke about personal transformation and choosing a different path by return to the self and not being scared to make mistakes.
- Franko's path and where it led him
- Deciding things need to change
- The process of transformation
- Catalysts and barriers
- Finding your tribe
- Māori cultural influences
- Music and expression
- Finding your voice
- Leaning into mistakes
Franko's Website: www.frankoheke.com/
NZ Spirit Festival: https://www.nzspiritfestival.com/
Franko's Instagram: @frankoheke
On episode 17 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I'm chatting with Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. For forty years, Joseph has traveled the world teaching erotic bodywork. In 1984, he founded the Body Electric School in Oakland, California, where he trained thousands of professional massage therapists, erotic bodyworkers and somatic educators. In 2003, Joseph founded the new legal profession of Sexological Bodywork™. Joseph Kramer teaches in Sexological Bodywork trainings in California, Europe, Canada, Brazil and Australia and through his educational websites: OrgasmicYoga.com, EroticMassage.com, EroticIntegration.com and YogaofSex.com. Joseph and I discuss his practice of Porn Yoga, now called Erotic Integration. I've spoken on many other podcasts about my opinion that porn can be used intentionally as a tool to aid our arousal. This point of view comes directly from Joseph and the work that he does. We speak about how to watch porn healthily.
- Joseph shares a snippet of his story
- How porn is being used
- The "porn high"
- Standing up is a leverage practice
- Hands free masturbating
- "Balloon" masturbation vs erotic flow state
- Connecting with your body
- Integrating your heightened arousal
- Intentional ejaculation
- Practical advice for healthy porn watching
Cam's Website: www.cam-fraser.com
Cam's Instagram: www.cam-fraser.com
On season 2, episode 16 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Juliana, the “girl next door” (with a PhD). Dr. Juliana is always up for a down and dirty conversation about sexuality and intimacy. As a credentialed therapist, academic, and a bonafide (s)expert, Dr. Juliana has spent decades counseling and supporting thousands of individuals on their paths to discover and own their sexual agency. Having traversed her own journey through love, loss, motherhood, and the world of academics, Dr. Julianahas come to understand that ownership over one’s own sexuality is the at the foundation of every fulfilled and confident person. She has developed a clear, action-driven method to help people of all backgrounds discover their own path to authenticity through holistic sexuality. Dr. Juliana is a certified by Betty Dodson as a BodySex Workshop facilitator and offers tons of tips, insight and support through coaching, therapy, online courses and in person retreats for becoming your own (s)expert over at dr-juliana.com. We chat about working with men, the differences between being a man and woman in this space, and how we can get men to open up to talk about sex.
- Dr. Juliana shares some of her history working with men
- Getting comfortable talking about sex
- Men working with men vs men working with women
- Private vs public work
- Specialising and collaborating
- Celebrating sexual wins
- Educating and problem solving
- Healthy sexuality impacting our lives
- How can women make men feel safe to be vulnerable
Dr. Juliana's Instagram: @drjulianahauser
Dr. Juliana's Facebook: Dr. Juliana
On episode 15 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs. We discuss his research about fantasies and particularly about what men fantasize about, as well as how to healthy explore your desires.
- Dr. Lehmiller introduces his research
- The most common fantasies
- Differences between men's and women's fantasies
- Men's fantasies and pressure to be a certain way
- Shame about our fantasies
- The origin of sexual fantasies
- Underlying emotional needs
- Dr. Lehmiller's dial analogy
- Advice for exploring sexual fantasies
Dr. Lehmiller's website: www.lehmiller.com
Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser
The intention with this podcast is to platform people who perhaps haven't been part of the discourse around masculinity and sexuality in the mainstream, spiritual, Tantra and sacred sexuality communities. From sex workers, male strippers, and relationship coaches to psychosexual therapists, transgender educators and indigenous men, "Men, Sex & Pleasure" is a podcast discussing all things masculinity, sexuality, male bodies and men's experience of pleasure.