On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Mish Middelmann. Mish is the co-founder and first CEO of a hi-tech software and services start-up in the 1990s, turned systemic leadership coach since 2010. Mish was fit, healthy and sexually active when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in November 2019, at the age of 61. He is now back to being fit and healthy and sexually active in quite different ways after a radical prostatectomy surgery in 2020. Mish and I talk about his diagnosis with prostate cancer as well as the process he went through for surgery and recovery. We also discuss the impacts that his prostatectomy had on his experience of masculinity and sexuality, such as not feeling virile, struggling to get erections, and not ejaculating anymore. Mish also shares how he has rediscovered and reconnected with his manhood and life in general, including his relationship with his partner.
- Mish talks about his diagnosis
- The process of prostatectomy
- Recovery and rehabilitation
- Impacts on masculinity and virility
- Erectile dysfunction after prostate surgery
- Learning new ways of being sexual
- Viagra, penis pumps and dry orgasms
- Reconnecting with a partner
Mish’s Twitter: @RecoveringMan1
Mish’s website: www.recoveringman.net
On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Dexter Kendrick, affectionately known as Dr. Dex by his clients. Dexter has been a practicing psychic/medium and astrologer since 2001. He has written horoscopes for newspaper, magazine copy, and been a regular guest on NuSpirit talk radio out of NYC since 2011. He has taught and published articles on psychic self-development and astrological understanding of our psychology. He has done research into personality studies at the University of Hartford, and offered astrological, tarot, and spiritual conversations on love and relationships for the public via private practice. He also does weekly LIVE Facebook psychic readings on his show “Love 911 Tarot” on Facebook and Instagram, coaching clients on love, sex, relationships, family, money, and career. As a medium, he also reconnects clients with loved ones who are dearly departed should they wish it.
Over the last 11 years as a doctor of spiritual 5 element acupuncture, Dexter has brought this evidence-based transformative healing technique to the Mediterranean and Northern Europe, the Middle East, South and Central America, Mexico, Canada, and the Caribbean. Using a results based philosophy, along with educational self-care techniques, Dexter enlightens and demonstrates to patients the powerful ability of their bodies and minds to change. He is currently lead supervising doctor of clinical acupuncture interns at the Maryland University of Integrative Health, where he also serves as adjunct faculty and senate member. Dexter and I talk about his work with men as an acupuncturist and practitioner of Natural Medicine. We discuss men’s health and share some advice about how to improve your own wellbeing. We also explore some of Dexter’s journey with mediumship.
Dexter introduces himself
Eastern Medicine vs Western Medicine
Fertility and conception
Changing your diet for sexual health
Mediumship and sexuality
Telling people about their future
Practicing Chinese Medicine as a Black man
Dexter’s Facebook: @love911tarot
Dexter’s Instagram: @love911tarot
On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Lauren White, a woman on a mission to help people feel sexually confident. Originally from Denver, Colorado, Lauren moved to San Diego in 2011 to pursue an M.A. in Communication. At the age of 23, she became an adjunct professor, teaching at colleges and correctional facilities in San Diego. During her time as a professor, she recognized a need for real conversations about sex and sexuality. Identifying as a sexually curious person, and having a feminist studies background, Lauren left her position in the college classroom to pursue teaching to a global classroom. She prides herself on being very relatable, funny, and passionate during conversations that may normally be categorized as awkward with both men and women. When she is not having or talking about sex, Lauren in an ardent explorer, having visited over 20 countries, and 42 U.S. States. She once sold all of her belongings and moved into a custom built van in the pursuit of uncharted adventure. She’s a bit of an adrenaline junkie, dances her heart out, and has a uniquely close relationship with her family. Lauren and I talk about what it means to be sexually confident and how you too can embody sexual confidence. I also ask her about what we can do to help boost our partner’s sexual confidence.
- Lauren shares the evolution of her message
- What does it mean to be sexually confident?
- The way we talk about masturbation and sex
- The problem with being “good in bed”
- Embodying your pleasure
- Learning to communicate
- Comfortability and sexual confidence
- Your body is a playground
- Advice for women
- Advice for men
Lauren’s Instagram: @shewolflauren
The Sex Den’s Instagram: @thesexden
On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Asa Baav, the founder of Tailor Matched - a nationwide thought leader in romantic and sexual compatibility in the UK. As a matchmaker, coach and speaker Asa is on a mission to remove taboo from sexual desires and create the freedom to own your wants and needs in life and in the bedroom. The two of us talk about her matchmaking agency and how it all came about. Asa shares about her approach to matchmaking and the stigmas surrounding online dating services.
- Asa shares about her agency, Tailor Matched
- Matchmaking vs Coaching
- What is sexual compatibility?
- Collecting information about our sexual desires
- Approaching conversations about sexual function
- Dating: Don’t waste your time
- Who is using matchmaking services?
- Expanding the dating pool
- The stigma of using a matchmaking service
- Emphasizing connection over appearance
Tailor Matched’s Instagram: @tailormatched
Asa’s Instagram: @coachwithasa
On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Shaft Uddin, a Speaker, Coach and a Somatic Trauma Release Therapist and Content Creator. Shaft has helped men and women from all walks of life overcome trauma by connecting them back to themselves. He creates safe spaces for people to connect with themselves and others through retreats and workshops all over the world. Shaft broke free from his strict devout Muslim upbringing of working in an Indian restaurant and forced arrange marriages and made his own way through life from being homeless to becoming a successful Art Director. 6 years ago he left his house and 6 figure salary in London to pursue the spiritual path. He turned his tragic story, mental illness, broken relationships and addiction into his super powers and turned it into a successful business to help others. The thing that healed him became his passion. His work and viral videos have reached over 38.7 million people via social media and various other media outlets including the BBC, Vice, Times magazine, The Guardian and many more. Shaft also consults for major brands such as Samsung, Mercedes and Disney in creating content. Shaft's mission is to make Stockholm the epicentre of connection and intimacy... the opposite of what it is right now! We talk about Shaft’s personal experiences with Tantra and his advice for achieving multiple orgasms.
Shaft introduces himself as the “Wim Hof of Tantra”
Portraying Tantra in the mainstream media
Living in the Tantra bubble
Lineages and finding your own path
Shaft’s personal daily practice
What is an injaculation?
Conscious ejaculation and consecration
Ejaculation shaming and non-ejaculatory orgasm
What does a non-ejaculatory orgasm feel like?
Researching multiple orgasms for men
“I love my life, I love my body, I love myself”
Shaft’s Instagram: @shaftuddin
Shaft’s YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/shaftuddin/
Shaft’s Website: www.sacredsexualawakening.com
Today on The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Ginger Jen. Ginger (she/they) is the empowering authentic sexuality dating coach for busy/neuro diverse brains. She works with Tantric philosophies and somatic healing to reach the deep subconscious and unconscious. Their mission here is to empower each individual human being to be authentically true to themselves by bringing them from a busy mind to a sensational body. She wants to share the best, most healing tactics through discussions, conversations and realizations. Ginger is ADHD and an advocate for mental disabilities as well as mental health. She is also strictly anti-oppression of any beings so warns to beware of the triggering truth bombs. We talk about their ADHD diagnosis and how it intersects with her sexuality as well as her work in the sexuality space. Ginger also shares some really practical advice for neurodivergent individuals and people who have a neurodivergent partner.
- Ginger shares some of her story
- Ginger explains what ADHD is
- Strategies for getting into your body
- How do people with ADHD express their sexuality?
- ADHD and sexual rejection
- Communicating with a partner who has ADHD
- ADHD and high risk sexual behaviour
- Ginger shares about her diagnosis with ADHD
- The intersection of escorting and ADHD
- Working with men in the sexuality space
- The women who sell sex and men who buy it
- Online coaching and final thoughts
Ginger’s website: www.ecstaticallyginger.com
Ginger’s Instagram: @ecstatically.ginger
Ginger’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ecstaticallyginger
This episode of The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast is part 2 of my conversation about pornography. If you haven’t listened to part 1, I would definitely suggest listening to that first as it sets the context for this episode. Previously, I spoke about how we define porn, my position in the porn debate, the difference between mainstream and ethical porn, and some of the common problems the porn perpetuates. There are so many other things that I didn’t share or forgot to share regarding my opinion on pornography but, as I mentioned in the previous episode, I am not trying to convince anyone of anything. Rather, I want to introduce some nuance into the conversation about porn that I see people in my community having. This episode is a continuation of that intention and offers some other perspectives to consider. Again, there are things I missed but will hopefully revisit in episodes to come. Thank you so much for supporting the podcast. I’m excited for another year of amazing guests, thought-provoking conversations and deep learning. This podcast would not be a success without the guests and listening, so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Similarity between video games and pornography
How are people using porn?
Two conversations: Consumers and masturbators
Stop the demand or change the demand?
The problem with how people are masturbating
Mindfully using porn as a tool
Becoming reliant on porn for arousal
The 20% rule
Continuing conversations and thank you
This is a special episode of The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast. Today’s episode celebrates a year of “Men, Sex & Pleasure.” It has been such an amazing year and I feel really grateful to have spoken with 51 incredible guests who have all taught me so much. To celebrate a year of the podcast, I decided to record my first solo episode. When I reflected on what I wanted to talk about, a lot of things came to mind. However, there was one topic which really stood out to me. I get asked on a daily basis about pornography. Without fail, everyday someone, somewhere asks me something about porn. I have a lot to say about porn and having to respond every single time with my myriad of thoughts is usually impossible. So I had the idea to record an episode about my opinion on pornography which I can share with people when they ask me for my thoughts. Like I said, I have a lot to say and this ended up becoming a two part instalment. This episode is part 1 and is released alongside part 2. If you’re interested in the nuances of the porn debate, hopefully you’ll find these two parts interesting. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything, just have a conversation. Thank you for supporting the podcast for a whole year. I look forward to bringing more interesting conversations in the year to come.
Introduction to and intentions for the conversation
I understand the harm some porn has caused
Anti-Porn vs Pro-Porn vs Anti-Anti-Porn
What is porn? The problem with definitions
The problem with the “porn is a drug” analogy
Thought experiment: Where do you draw the line?
Operation Spanner and private sex groups
Mainstream vs Ethical (Feminist) porn
Messages, escalation, addiction, exploitation
On this week’s episode of The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Joe Kort, a Licensed Sex and Relationship Therapist. Dr. Kort specializes in working with male sexual dysfunction, infidelity, relationship concerns, and with individuals identifying as LGBTQ, and presenting issues. He is the author of four books: 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love, LGBTQ Clients in Therapy: Clinical Issues and Treatment Strategies, and Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men. Dr. Kort is a blogger for Psychology Today. He is founder and director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health, overseeing a group of therapists who provide outpatient psychotherapy services to clients. Dr. Kort is also Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes running a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology and provides LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapy Certification, Couples and Sex Therapy Certification and Sex Therapy Certification and continuing education to mental health and medical professionals around the world. Dr. Kort and I talk about the rigid parameters of sexual orientation and why it can be beneficial to lean into fluidity. We also discuss how this impacts men, women and couples.
- Dr. Kort shares about his practice as a therapist
- Heteroflexible and homoflexible
- Discussing Jane Ward’s book, Not Gay
- Bisexual erasure
- Queering heterosexuality
- “Your anus doesn’t have a sexual orientation”
- Fragile masculinity
- Working with couples in therapy
- Wives’ experiences with heteroflexible men
- Sexual fluidity for men and women
- Practical advice for men
Dr. Joe Kort’s Instagram/Tiktok/Twitter: @drjoekort
Dr. Joe Kort’s podcast: www.SmartSexSmartLove.com
Dr. Joe Kort’s website: www.JoeKort.com
On this week’s episode of The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Emily Claire. Emily is an erotic embodiment dance teacher and sacred sexuality and embodiment teacher, dedicated to inspiring people on their journeys toward integrating with themselves, their bodies and to the deepest part of themselves, their sexuality. She transitioned careers from a Lawyer to this work after being deeply inspired by the profound impact embodiment and sacred sexuality work had on her own life. Emily has mentored with the leading international and national experts in her field. She holds a wealth of knowledge in sexuality, sacred sexuality and neo Tantra, embodiment and dance as healing and is trauma informed. Emily has created Erotic Temple Dance, A 4 Week erotic embodiment journey into feminine sexuality archetypes which tours across South East Queensland, Australia, she facilitates group work in spiritual sexuality practice for men and women and she privately coaches people. The two of us talked about her offering for men, which she has called “Fuck and Kill to Consciousness.” We discussed our opinions about masculinity and femininity as well as what we think is needed in the world of men’s work.
- Emily shares about her journey from Law to Tantra
- Mentoring with John Wineland
- Healing your relationship with men
- A woman’s experience working with men
- Mix-gendered spaces: Learning from other genders
- “Fuck and Kill to Consciousness”
- What are men’s natural desires?
- Integrating the animal part of ourselves
- Masculine and Feminine Energy
- Fight, Flight, Freeze, Feed and Fuck
- Practical advice for men wanting to begin this work
Emily’s Instagram: @an_erotic_heart
Emily’s Website: www.deepenembodiment.com
Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser
The intention with this podcast is to platform people who perhaps haven't been part of the discourse around masculinity and sexuality in the mainstream, spiritual, Tantra and sacred sexuality communities. From sex workers, male strippers, and relationship coaches to psychosexual therapists, transgender educators and indigenous men, "Men, Sex & Pleasure" is a podcast discussing all things masculinity, sexuality, male bodies and men's experience of pleasure.