On episode 35 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Alexandra Holovitz. Alexandra is a tantric sex coach & hypnotherapist. She is known for her honest, passionate and authentic coaching style. She works with career-minded men helping them to heal, express and empower thought tantra and self-compassion. She believes awakening sexual energy can support you to have deeper connection, understanding and self-acceptance to liberate and come back to your home (your body), REMEMBER your truth as a divine man! Her mission is to heal the world, one orgasm at a time. We spoke about her use of hypnosis for managing sexual dysfunction with her clients, such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. We also discussed the practicalities of establishing professional practitioner-client boundaries.
- Alexandra shares some of her story
- Owning the role of Sex Coach for men
- Introducing hypnosis as a healing modality
- The mind and body (dis)connection
- Using hypnosis for sexual dysfunction
- Rewriting stories and identity conflict
- The stages of hypnosis
- Body awareness and trance state
- Surrender and letting go of control
- How ready are you to make changes?
Alexandra’s website: www.alexandra.guru
Alexandra’s Instagram: @alexandra_guru
On episode 35 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Sex Goddess and Master Manifestor, Parish Blair. Parish has studied psychoneuroimmunology and practices a variety of healing modalities for over 25 years, with dramatic results of synergy between the mind, body and spirit. As well as offering unique one-on-one sessions, such as Sensual Synergy and Orgasmic Gratitude Meditation, Parish also delivers international presentations, such as ‘Look At What My Pussy Can Do’ and ‘How To Give A BJ With A Heart Full Of Gratitude’. She is also the executive producer of Sexy Spirit TV and the creator of the Parish Blair Love Affair Tour Documentary, which features open lifestyle, swingers and polyamorous couples from 20+ cities in 20+ international destinations with the intention to release judgement and preconceived ideas about our human family.
- Parish shares about her near death experience
- Intuitively following guidance to do this work
- Men think more about their partner’s pleasure
- Who is responsible for your pleasure?
- Unhealthily using sex as a reward
- Expressing feminine energy online
- “Be as juicy as you want her to be”
- Men’s scarcity mindset about sex
- Steps for Orgasmic Gratitude Meditation.
Parish’s Instagram: @SexySpiritTV @ManifestingLifestyle @GoodSexSelfiesAndSuccess
Parish’s Website: ParishBlair.com
On episode 34 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Kristin Murray Alexi. Kristin has a bachelor’s degree in international studies with a focus on women in history, culture and religion, and a post graduate diploma in sexology. She is a certified Yoni Massage practitioner and trainer, and certified Sex Coach and trainer. She also works in the realm of priestessing as well as initiating other womben into this work. Kristin is known for her gentle yet informative and inclusive approach to pleasure-centered sex education. She offers certified trainings, group and 1:1 coaching sessions, online courses, and a fun and educative podcast with Tanishka Tantrika called Love Blood Sex Death. Kristin has been passionate about womben's wisdom teachings and female sexuality from a very young age. She held girls circles at 12 years old and created supportive materials for her teen female peers while going through puberty together. Her main passions are empowering womben in their sexuality through a better understanding of their bodies and female sexual arousal, as well as helping womben to communicate their individual needs to their partners. Kristin and I discuss how the different phases of the menstrual cycle can affect sex drive and how men can better understand their partner’s cycles so as to connect more intimately together.
- Kristin shares some of her story
- Working with women and their cyclical nature
- Tracking your or your partner’s cycle
- Education for men about menstruation
- The four phases of the menstrual cycle
- How do these phases affect sexuality?
- Managing PMS and communication
- Sex when she is on her period
- Recognizing your own cyclical nature
Know Your cycles Program: https://www.yonilicious.com.au/know-your-cycles-self-guided
On episode 33 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I talk with Nic Warner. Nic is a men’s work, plant medicine and breathwork facilitator, and a sacred intimacy mentor. Using the tools that helped him rise out of the ashes, Nic coaches both individuals and couples. Supporting them on their healing journey, to integrate and deepen their relationship with themselves, and each other. Nic and I talk about his experience giving away his power, spiraling into substance abuse, and overcoming his troubles, ultimately transforming his life. We also discuss what it means to look like a man and the fear that many men have about not looking masculine enough.
- Nic’s journey from substance abuse to personal power
- What does it mean to give your power away?
- Polarity in relationships and learning about masculinity
- Men’s work: Helping other men transform
- Triggers, reflections and limits
- Fear of rejection by women and men
- Acting like a man and compromising integrity
- Harry Styles: Looking masculine
- Outward expressions of masculinity
Nic’s Instagram: @nicwarner
Nic’s website: www.nicwarner.com
Kenneth Play is an international sex expert and sex educator. From a deeply insecure Asian immigrant to over 8 million views on PornHub and being named the World’s Greatest Sex Hacker by GQ, Kenneth develops sex techniques to help couples learn new ways to connect and overcome challenges in the bedroom. His newest course features over 70+ videos and 12 hours of content, and was described by AskMen as having "at least one nugget of sexual learning you’ve almost certainly never encountered before, if not several." His teaching has been described as a mashup of Bruce Lee’s mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss’s 80/20 rule. He worked with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova to conduct the world's largest survey on squirting; with Pamela Madsen at the Back to the Body Sensual Retreats for Women; and has been a featured presenter at New York University and San Jose State University. He has devoted his life to empowering couples to close the orgasm gap and experience the best sex of their lives.
- Kenneth’s journey from Asian immigrant to Sex Hacker
- Sexual stereotypes of Asian men
- Overcoming stereotypes and facing fears
- Inner work and outer work
- Being confident and competent
- Approaching sex like a Sports Scientist
- Skill acquisition and teaching sex hacks
- Educational porn
- Sexual feedback and calibrating to your partner
- Practical tips for better sex
Kenneth’s Instagram: @kenneth_play
Kenneth’s Website: www.kennethplay.com
On episode 31 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Lorin Krenn, a Deep Intimacy coach and Writer.
Lorin helps men and women all over the globe understand masculine/feminine dynamics in their intimate relationships to experience deep intimacy through 1-on-1 coaching, workshops and masterclasses, and social media appearances. He has some Deep Intimacy virtual masterclasses coming up specifically for his Australian and Asia-Pacific community as well as for his community from the United States, Canada and Europe. Links for these masterclasses are in the show notes.
- Lorin talks about how he came to be doing this work
- Personal philosophy about working with men and women
Lorin’s Instagram: @lorinkrenn
Lorin’s Podcast: The Lorin Krenn Podcast
Lorin’s Website: lorinkrenn.com
Lorin’s Australian/Asia-Pacific masterclass: https://www.lorinkrenn.com/virtual-masterclass-december-5th/
Lorin’s US, Canada and Europe masterclass: https://www.lorinkrenn.com/virtual-masterclass/
On episode 30 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Brenden Durell. Brenden is a former professional athlete turned life aficionado. He nudges people with laughter and inspiration so they can understand nirvana and live in every moment. Brenden also plays the game of life by being a Cacao & Breathwork Ceremonialist. He’s also a dedicated White Tantra student. His motto is “peace is the ultimate pleasure.” Brenden resides comfortably in his home, wishing he had a dog. The two of us spoke about the difference between masculine Men’s Work and feminine Men’s Work as well as how masculinity is linked to sexuality and what we can do as men to express but also regulate our emotions.
- Brenden shares a bit of his story
- What is Men’s Work?
- The difference between Men’s Work and Women’s Work
- “Masculine” Men’s Work and “Feminine” Men’s Work
- The intersection of masculinity and sexuality
- Sexuality as intimacy and vulnerability
- Oversharing and emotional instability
- Burdening your partner in a relationship
- Emotional expression and regulation
- Practical relationship advice
Brenden’s Instagram: @innerlightwarrior
Brenden’s Website: www.brendendurell.com
On this episode of Men, sex & pleasure podcast, I talk with Stevon Lewis. Stevon is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and corporate consultant. In his private practice, he specializes in working with adults struggling with Impostor Syndrome. He has been a featured expert for various major television and media platforms, including the Oprah Winfrey Network, Bustle Magazine, Thrive Global, and Entrepreneur Magazine. As a corporate consultant, he has facilitated discussions about race in the workplace for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN) and Tory Burch. In addition, he has hosted a series of workshops for A New Direction, a London-based non-profit, that provides support and development to individuals that are underrepresented in the creative and digital industries. Stevon and I discuss Impostor Syndrome as it relates to masculinity and “being a man” as well as connecting it to performance anxiety and transitioning into fatherhood.
Stevon’s Website: https://www.stevonlewis.com/
On episode 28 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast I chat with Toby Whittington. Toby, who uses they/them/he/him pronouns, was diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome (47 XXY karyotype) in 2010. Among other issues, Toby found out that they were not able to father children and that they don’t produce enough of their own testosterone. He started on Testosterone Replacement Therapy which set him on a path of going through adult puberty, a physical and mental transition which lasted over 8 years. Toby now openly acknowledges that they are an Intersex person and in 2020, when they came out as gender non-binary, this was the first time they felt that their biological sex and their gender identity were aligned. Toby is passionate about educating people around these issues, what it means to be Intersex and the confusion with regards to differences between biological sex, gender identity and sexual orientation. He has and promotes a very open and positive attitude towards sex, sexuality and sexual expression, so long as it is safe and that participation is between consenting adults. Toby and I talk about their experience being Intersex and how it affected their ideas of masculinity as well as what it means to “be a man.”
- Toby’s experience growing up un-knowingly Intersex
- Being diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome
- Testosterone Replacement Therapy and adult puberty
- Redefining personal ideas of masculinity
- Masculine, Feminine or “Humine?”
- Subverting mainstream masculinity
- Penis size and cock shaming
- Vaginas and vulvas in a phallocentric society
- What does it mean to be Intersex?
- Sex versus gender versus orientation
Cam’s Instagram: @thecamfraser
Cam’s Website: www.cam-fraser.com
On episode 27 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Courtney Brame, the Founder and podcast host of Something Positive for Positive People. As a podcast, this serves as a hub of interviews with people living with genital herpes along with his own experiences navigating stigma from diagnosis to disclosure. As a nonprofit, SPFPP raises money to pay for people who are struggling with HSV stigma to receive therapy. After his own diagnosis in 2012, Courtney navigated the world identifying heavily with his diagnosis unconsciously as you'll hear more about in this episode. After finding community, all of his problems with dating and disclosure appeared to disappear. However, this made space for underlying concerns herpes had exposed. 1 was how many people despite having community and a space for finding love regardless of their HSV status wanting to end their lives. 2 was how true to himself he was able to be with these complete strangers who had one thing in common (knowing about his HSV status) versus how hidden he was with people who'd known him most of his life who did not know about his herpes status. We talk about living with herpes, from contracting the virus and receiving a diagnosis, to managing it, how it affects your masculinity and ultimately discussing it with and disclosing it to a partner.
- Courtney’s experience receiving a diagnosis of HSV
- Grappling with a diagnosis
- Outbreaks and managing the virus
- Masculinity and sexual confidence
- Changing beliefs and combating stigma
- Something Positive for Positive People podcast
- Communication, intimacy and sexuality
- STI/STD testing
- Sexual health and ethnicity
Courtney’s Instagram: @Honmychest
Courtney’s Facebook Page: Something Positive for Positive People
Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser
The intention with this podcast is to platform people who perhaps haven't been part of the discourse around masculinity and sexuality in the mainstream, spiritual, Tantra and sacred sexuality communities. From sex workers, male strippers, and relationship coaches to psychosexual therapists, transgender educators and indigenous men, "Men, Sex & Pleasure" is a podcast discussing all things masculinity, sexuality, male bodies and men's experience of pleasure.