On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Mish Middelmann. Mish is the co-founder and first CEO of a hi-tech software and services start-up in the 1990s, turned systemic leadership coach since 2010. Mish was fit, healthy and sexually active when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in November 2019, at the age of 61. He is now back to being fit and healthy and sexually active in quite different ways after a radical prostatectomy surgery in 2020. Mish and I talk about his diagnosis with prostate cancer as well as the process he went through for surgery and recovery. We also discuss the impacts that his prostatectomy had on his experience of masculinity and sexuality, such as not feeling virile, struggling to get erections, and not ejaculating anymore. Mish also shares how he has rediscovered and reconnected with his manhood and life in general, including his relationship with his partner.
- Mish talks about his diagnosis
- The process of prostatectomy
- Recovery and rehabilitation
- Impacts on masculinity and virility
- Erectile dysfunction after prostate surgery
- Learning new ways of being sexual
- Viagra, penis pumps and dry orgasms
- Reconnecting with a partner
Mish’s Twitter: @RecoveringMan1
Mish’s website: www.recoveringman.net.
On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Rory Callaghan [This episode has been edited and re-uploaded to remove mention of third parties who did not consent to having personal information shared]. Rory works with individuals and conscious healthy enterprises who are committed to developing sustainable health and wellness based lifestyles. He travels around the globe to speak at events, workshops, and retreats. Rory’s purpose is global health and wellbeing for all. His passions include health, family, happiness, connection, and fun. He values integrated health, passion/purpose, service/contribution, connection, abundance, and being a lifetime student. Rory believes that by starting with the end - or, “the big picture” - in mind, the legacy is simple. The two of us chat about his recent breakup and how he is navigating it as well as the importance of self-care and the key components that Rory considers to be fundamental for health.
- Rory talks about his work and his mission
- Rory shares about his recent breakup
- Navigating the post-breakup headspace
- Communication strategies and vulnerability
- Integrity and taking time for yourself
- What is self-care?
- The fundamentals of health
- How to achieve integrated health
- Rory offers some advice for men
Rory’s Website: Rorycallaghan.com
Rory’s website: Selfcare.global
On this episode of The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Sascha Haert. Relationships are, and have always been, the most important thing Sascha’s my life. Born into a loving and present family, in a home that sat next to a firing line in communist East Berlin, Sascha learned the incredible power of healthy relationships from an early age. As a former professional basketball player and captain of the Junior National Team he went on travels around the world and grew into a life of successful entrepreneurship, investing, building and managing 6-7 figure businesses across Europe & Asia. Fueled by his passion to understand the art of human relating, Sascha moved to Bali to explore the spiritual side of life, discovering the powerful practices of meditation, yoga & energy work. He became fascinated with helping others to appreciate and access the power of navigating relationships successfully in all areas of life. Seeing others get to the point where they can apply these skills in their lives and benefit from them has become one of his greatest pleasures. The two of us talk about Sascha’s work with women and how his clients relate with the men in their lives. We also talk about our differing opinions regarding semen retention and sexual practices.
- Sascha shares about his passions and work
- Building confidence to have better sex
- Men who feel intimidated by women
- You are not your partner’s coach
- Fear of leaving a relationship
- Entrepreneurship and financial independence
- Nourishment and connecting in with your body
- The masculine seeks freedom
- Semen retention vs conscious ejaculation
- The symbolism of ejaculation
- Ejaculation shaming
- Semen retention and meditation
Sascha’s Instagram: @sascha_haer
Sascha’s Website: www.saschahaert.com
On this episode of The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Chloe Adriana, AKA The Pussy Queen. Chloe is a Radical Radiance Coach and Captivating Facilitator. For the past three years she has been working across the globe to empower, liberate and awaken vulva-bodied people into their full radiance. Chloe was born sexually liberated, from as early as she can remember she was making barbie dolls have sex and experimenting with spa jets. Yet like so many she grew up in a society where conversations about sexual based topics were off limits. She had nothing but outdated school videos, sealed sections of magazines and rumours among friends to guide her into the mysterious world of sex, love and relationships. Spending her teenage years and half her twenties sexually fumbling, it was a life changing trip around the world that finally landed her in a Swedish; Self Development, Spiritual and Tantric community. Here among a community of consciously and educated sexual beings her interest in tantra, trauma healing and facilitation would lead her to study to be a Sex, Love and Relationship Coach with the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality. Chloe’s 10 years as a Professional Fairy and 5 years as a Primary teacher make her magnetic, colourful and vivacious nature all the more inviting, safe and entertaining. Chloe is delighted to be running some of the most unique and needed workshops in Melbourne on the subjects of sexuality, empowerment, relationships and intimacy. She offers limited spaces for high-end 1:1 Radical Radiance Coaching only for those ready to do the deep work. She runs monthly Radiant Rising Circles and other Radical Workshops found on her website or eventbrite. We chat about radiance, dark masculine energy, sexual scripts, and lingam love.
- Chloe shares about her transformative journey
- How Chloe defines radiance
- How Cam defines radiance
- The power of travel and exploration
- Masculinity and dark masculine energy
- Relationship with penises
- How penises are portrayed in media
- Rewriting sexual scripts
- Loving your genitals
Chloe’s Instagram: @thechloeadriana
This is another solo episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast. In this week’s episode, I chat about male sex toys, or sex toys for people with a penis, in an attempt to normalize the use of said toys. Women's use of vibrators and other sex toys is often celebrated as a sign of sexual liberation. But unfortunately the same cannot be said for men. This is because there is a certain stigma surrounding the use of these particular toys. With the help of @lovehoneyau, I want to try to dispel that stigma, normalize the use of male sex toys, and celebrate men’s exploration of self-pleasure. In this episode, I go through part of my own personal collection of toys and talk about the different ways in which they can be used as well as what I think about them. If you’re interested in sex toys for people with a penis and you want to learn more about what is out there, this is definitely the episode for you. If you like what you hear and want to invest in your self-pleasure, you can head over to @lovehoneyau and use the code CAM20LOVE for a discount on your purchase.
- The stigmatization of male sex toys
- Celebrating men’s self-pleasuring
- Fifty Shades of Grey Relentless Vibrations Couples Vibrator
- We-Vibe X Lovehoney Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator
- Blowmotion Warming Vibrating Male Masturbator
- Blowmotion Warming Pulsating Vibrating Male Masturbator
- Blowmotion Real Feel Vibrating Male Masturbator
- Blowmotion Blow Job Real Feel Vibrating Suction Male Masturbator
- Desire Luxury Male Vibator
- Desire Luxury Vibrating Prostate Massager
- Kinky Confessions Card Game
Lovehoney’s website: https://www.lovehoney.com.au/
Lovehoney’s Instagram: @lovehoneyau
On this episode of The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Danny Lakey. Originally from Western Australia and growing up in Perth, Danny started out doing casual music shifts at hit90.9 Sea FM Gold Coast and has also worked at hit 92.9 Perth and the breakfast shift at Star 106.3 in Townsville. He currently hosts The Danny Lakey Show, a national night time show on Triple M, which you can listen to from 7pm to 10pm weeknights across the country. Danny is a self-confessed pub quiz master and amateur comedian. The two of us talk about his experience with alcohol and sobriety, particularly as an Australian man in our drinking culture. We also talk about exploring altered states of consciousness with psychedelics and plant medicine. Lastly, we talk about sex and masculinity and how these two things have impacted and continue to impact Danny’s life.
- Danny shares about his career on radio
- Showing up authentically
- Australian men and our drinking culture
- Sobriety and masculinity
- Altered states of consciousness
- Experiencing the divine feminine
- Stigma about psychedelics and sex
- Combining sex with psychedelics
- Danny shares some advice
Danny’s Instagram: @dannylakeyshow
Danny’s website: https://www.triplem.com.au/shows/the-danny-lakey-show
On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with my friend Manuele Paradiso. Manu is an inner explorer committed to the development of his most authentic self. His purpose is to share his journey unfiltered with the people and inspire them to follow their heart. He offers his experience to people as a facilitator, blogger, speaker and mentor. Manu grew-up in a small reality surrounded by macho-patriarchal culture but educated by very inclusive and progressive parents. After his academic formation he started to travel and that’s when the big shifts started to happen. Deep diving in different spiritual lineages and exploring with entheogenic plants.
Since then, he started a process of integration between intellect, spiritual call and sexuality. His attention goes in particular to men who want more awareness about their cultural conditioning and support in the development of a deeper and more conscious relationship with their partner and themselves. Since one year back he has been active with an online course for men (The Attractive Hero) with the intention of self development supported by a healing space of brotherhood. He also offers webinars on conscious relating and recently he started a series of meetings in person as a facilitator for groups’ introspective journeys.
- Manu shares about his story and his passion
- Discussing approaches to coaching men
- Personal sexual turning points
- The line between sexualization and objectification
- Having intention with sexual energy
- Being honest about your intentions
- Listening to your “Yes”
- Advice for men interested in this work
Manu’s Instagram: @manuele_paradiso
Manu’s website: manueleparadiso.com
On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Lauren French. Lauren is a recently graduated sexologist holding a membership with the Society of Australian Sexologists. Lauren has a real passion for sexuality education as well as helping individuals or couples through a multitude of sexual difficulties and experiences. Lauren creates a warm and inviting space for clients to feel comfortable to share and be heard. All sessions are held within a judgement free space, as Lauren welcomes all diverse sexualities and varying individual experiences. She also works with with Body Safety Australia, a social enterprise protecting children from sexual abuse with whole community solutions. Lauren works with all genders, orientations and identities and offers a judgment-free, safe space for all beings. She is queer-friendly (LBGTIQ) and works with clients in any aspect of sex and sexuality. She believes that sex should be able to be discussed openly and that everyone deserves to have a pleasurable and enjoyable sex life. She specialises in sex education, and empowering individuals to be less goal- orientated and more pleasure orientated. Lauren and I talk about the nuances of her work as a sex educator as well as her life as a proud First Nations woman. We also discuss where and how these two experiences intersect.
- What is an Acknowledgement of Country?
- Comprehensive Sexuality Education
- The importance of Media and Porn Literacy
- Creating safe spaces for kids to learn
- Language and terminology
- Lauren shares about her family and lineage
- Intergenerational trauma and loss of culture
- Sex- and pleasure-positivity
- Fear, masculinity and masculinities
- Compassionate words for any First Nations people listening
Lauren’s Instagram: @Lauren.French.Sexologist
On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I have the pleasure of chatting with Alicia. Alicia is a Bundjalung woman who is in her final year of study (Justice major in Criminology and Policing, and Human Services) and is passionate about helping young First Nations people who face the injustice of the criminal justice system. On top of that, she loves to help others and realised that most people were in the same boat as her: little to no sex education at school. This started off with her sharing posts on her personal Instagram page, but in January 2020 she created @life.with.leasha to have a space dedicated to sharing information we all wish we had learnt sooner. Alicia and I talk about her experience as someone who speaks about sex and sexuality online as well as her experience as a Bundjalung woman and where these two experiences may intersect. Alicia was so generous with her time and energy, particularly sharing about connecting with community and traditions.
- Alicia shares about her motivation for sharing sexuality information
- Learning good communication skills
- Talking about sex both online and offline
- Sex education for Aborignal and Torres Straight Islander communities
- Terminology, Nations and language groups
- Connecting with community and traditions'
- Whose Country are you on?
- “There is no time limit to discovering who you are”
Alicia’s Instagram: @life.with.leasha
On The Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Bek Antonucci. Bek is an Emotional Wellbeing and Personal Freedom Coach. She supports women to break through ineffective self worth and body image stories, activate their unique voice and live their most radically fulfilled and expressed lives. Through a range of different holistic and intuitive modalities including trauma therapy, somatic response tactics, inner child connection, wounded ego healing and more, Bek supports women to learn to love their vulnerabilities. To take radical self ownership of the thing that they once thought made them unworthy in societies eyes and transform their lives from the inside out. Together we go on a journey of deep inner transformation and come to a place of true self acceptance. Bek is a free thinker, embodied female thought leader, stigma fighter, public speaker, workshop mentor, founder of the online group programs “Being Brilliant” & “True Transformation,” and Perth based Naked Awakening facilitator. We talk about her own personal journey with cheating, herpes, sexual healing and self-love as well as how to navigate the world - both online and IRL - as a confident and sexually empowered woman.
- Bek shares about her personal story
- Living with herpes
- The stigma of STIs
- Talking about sex online
- Intention vs impact
- Sister wounds and brother wounds
- “What do men need to know?”
- Attention seeking
- Advice for being a sexually embodied person on the internet
Bek’s Isntagram - @bekantonucci
Bek’s Facebook - @bek.antonucci
Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser
The intention with this podcast is to platform people who perhaps haven't been part of the discourse around masculinity and sexuality in the mainstream, spiritual, Tantra and sacred sexuality communities. From sex workers, male strippers, and relationship coaches to psychosexual therapists, transgender educators and indigenous men, "Men, Sex & Pleasure" is a podcast discussing all things masculinity, sexuality, male bodies and men's experience of pleasure.