On episode 40 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast I chat with Lola Jean. Lola is a Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Domme and World Record Holder for Volume Squirting (solo.) providing the No Frills Sex Education we both need and deserve. Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex, sexuality and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of. Lola offers a variety of classes and talks to help people have better sex with themselves and each other like Pegging, Squirting, and Libido Awakening. A variety of paid and free options of classes and talks, plus a podcast with The Reluctant Sexpert: ‘Is Our Love ___?’, there are a variety of options to indulge. Lola and I talked about squirting, pegging, rimming, and broadening your definition of sex. We also spoke about the pressure both men and women feel to perform sex a certain way.
- Lola shares about her no-nonsense approach to sex education
- Sexualization vs objectification vs fetishization
- Sexual pressures and expectations
- Faking orgasms for men’s ego
- You’re not responsible for your partner’s pleasure
- Can every woman squirt?
- Is squirting pee?
- Squirting and orgasm are two separate things?
- Not all women enjoy squirting
- Pegging, anal penetration and submission
- Broadening your definition of sex
Lola’s Instagram: @lolajeandotcom
Lola’s Website: https://lolajean.com/
On Episode 39 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I have a great discussion with Sarah Hunter Murray about the most common myths surrounding masculinity, sexuality and men. Sarah holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality from the University of Guelph and is a Registered Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She is the author of the book "Not Always in the Mood: The new science of men, sex, & relationships." I loved Sarah’s book and the research she presents in it. We talk about that research as well as her observations about men in relationships. We also explore some practical advice for men and their partners to help overcome the myths and stereotypes that may be hindering them in their relationships.
- Sarah shares about her research and book
- Science vs popular media and societal norms
- Men internally wrestling with sexual scripts
- Men’s sex drive isn’t high and unwavering
- Men and women have the same sexual desire
- Giving men the language to talk about sex
- Men desire to be desired
- Sex isn’t just surface level for men
- Men don’t always say “yes” to sex
- Practical advice for men in relationships
Sarah’s website: https://www.sarahhuntermurray.com/
Sarah’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Always-Mood-SARAH-HUNTER-MURRAY/dp/1538149400/
On Episode 38 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Tamica Wilder, a somatic sex coach and multi qualified complimentary therapist with over a decade of group work, facilitation and coaching experience. Tamica leads with passion, embodied wisdom and playful curiosity in all that she does. She believes that our social and cultural narratives around sex and embodiment need a damn good shake up! - Never one to shy away from a challenge, she's committed to leading the charge. Tamica is a hand holder, a permission giver and a safe place to land for those serious about re-awakening their sexual spark and living a life lead by pleasure. We talk about Tamica’s work with men as well as the importance of creating safety for men to open up about their sexual concerns. We also discuss parenthood and modelling healthy sexuality for children.
- Tamica shares about her work and journey to motherhood
- Creating spaces for men to talk about sexuality
- Should men or women work with men around sexuality?
- Creating boundaries when working with people’s body
- You don’t need to action your arousal
- Intersectionality and masculinity
- What are men seeking help for?
- Parenthood and sexuality
- Modelling healthy sexuality for your children
Free "confident Communication in the Bedroom" Video Series: https://www.theorgasmicmama.com/sexualconfidence
Tamica’s Instagram: @theorgasmicmama/
Tamica’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheOhMama
Tamica’s Facebook Group : https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheOMama
On episode 37 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based columnist, speaker, activist, and sex expert whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, and culture. He has a weekly sex advice column at Men’s Health titled “Sexplain It,” where he answers a diverse range of questions pertaining to masculinity, ethical non-monogamy, sexual insecurities, and the LGBTQ community. He answers questions with actionable advice. As a leading bisexual activist, Zachary has spoken across the country at universities and panels alike, discussing issues pertaining to the bisexual community, sex-positivity, and ethical non-monogamy. He previously had a biweekly column at Bisexual.org that ran for 18 months and also attended the "Bisexual White House Briefing" at the White House (under Obama). Zachary and I talk about the stigma bisexual men face and why mental health issues are greater among bisexual people. We also discussed the stigma surrounding nontraditional relationships, such as open relating and polyamory.
- Zachary shares some of his story as a writer
- Your bisexuality and what it means for you
- Mental health issues concerning bisexual people
- Stigma from the gay and straight communities
- Overcoming shame and accepting yourself
- Exploring and navigating open relationships
- More stigma from a monogamous society
- Practical advice for bisexual men
- Practical advice for polyamorous men
Zachary’s website: https://zacharyzane.com/
Zachary’s Instagram: @zacharyzane_
On episode 36 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Alexandra Holovitz. Alexandra is a tantric sex coach & hypnotherapist. She is known for her honest, passionate and authentic coaching style. She works with career-minded men helping them to heal, express and empower thought tantra and self-compassion. She believes awakening sexual energy can support you to have deeper connection, understanding and self-acceptance to liberate and come back to your home (your body), REMEMBER your truth as a divine man! Her mission is to heal the world, one orgasm at a time. We spoke about her use of hypnosis for managing sexual dysfunction with her clients, such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. We also discussed the practicalities of establishing professional practitioner-client boundaries.
- Alexandra shares some of her story
- Owning the role of Sex Coach for men
- Introducing hypnosis as a healing modality
- The mind and body (dis)connection
- Using hypnosis for sexual dysfunction
- Rewriting stories and identity conflict
- The stages of hypnosis
- Body awareness and trance state
- Surrender and letting go of control
- How ready are you to make changes?
Alexandra’s website: www.alexandra.guru
Alexandra’s Instagram: @alexandra_guru
On episode 35 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Sex Goddess and Master Manifestor, Parish Blair. Parish has studied psychoneuroimmunology and practices a variety of healing modalities for over 25 years, with dramatic results of synergy between the mind, body and spirit. As well as offering unique one-on-one sessions, such as Sensual Synergy and Orgasmic Gratitude Meditation, Parish also delivers international presentations, such as ‘Look At What My Pussy Can Do’ and ‘How To Give A BJ With A Heart Full Of Gratitude’. She is also the executive producer of Sexy Spirit TV and the creator of the Parish Blair Love Affair Tour Documentary, which features open lifestyle, swingers and polyamorous couples from 20+ cities in 20+ international destinations with the intention to release judgement and preconceived ideas about our human family.
- Parish shares about her near death experience
- Intuitively following guidance to do this work
- Men think more about their partner’s pleasure
- Who is responsible for your pleasure?
- Unhealthily using sex as a reward
- Expressing feminine energy online
- “Be as juicy as you want her to be”
- Men’s scarcity mindset about sex
- Steps for Orgasmic Gratitude Meditation.
Parish’s Instagram: @SexySpiritTV @ManifestingLifestyle @GoodSexSelfiesAndSuccess
Parish’s Website: ParishBlair.com
On episode 34 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Kristin Murray Alexi. Kristin has a bachelor’s degree in international studies with a focus on women in history, culture and religion, and a post graduate diploma in sexology. She is a certified Yoni Massage practitioner and trainer, and certified Sex Coach and trainer. She also works in the realm of priestessing as well as initiating other womben into this work. Kristin is known for her gentle yet informative and inclusive approach to pleasure-centered sex education. She offers certified trainings, group and 1:1 coaching sessions, online courses, and a fun and educative podcast with Tanishka Tantrika called Love Blood Sex Death. Kristin has been passionate about womben's wisdom teachings and female sexuality from a very young age. She held girls circles at 12 years old and created supportive materials for her teen female peers while going through puberty together. Her main passions are empowering womben in their sexuality through a better understanding of their bodies and female sexual arousal, as well as helping womben to communicate their individual needs to their partners. Kristin and I discuss how the different phases of the menstrual cycle can affect sex drive and how men can better understand their partner’s cycles so as to connect more intimately together.
- Kristin shares some of her story
- Working with women and their cyclical nature
- Tracking your or your partner’s cycle
- Education for men about menstruation
- The four phases of the menstrual cycle
- How do these phases affect sexuality?
- Managing PMS and communication
- Sex when she is on her period
- Recognizing your own cyclical nature
Know Your cycles Program: https://www.yonilicious.com.au/know-your-cycles-self-guided
On episode 33 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I talk with Nic Warner. Nic is a men’s work, plant medicine and breathwork facilitator, and a sacred intimacy mentor. Using the tools that helped him rise out of the ashes, Nic coaches both individuals and couples. Supporting them on their healing journey, to integrate and deepen their relationship with themselves, and each other. Nic and I talk about his experience giving away his power, spiraling into substance abuse, and overcoming his troubles, ultimately transforming his life. We also discuss what it means to look like a man and the fear that many men have about not looking masculine enough.
- Nic’s journey from substance abuse to personal power
- What does it mean to give your power away?
- Polarity in relationships and learning about masculinity
- Men’s work: Helping other men transform
- Triggers, reflections and limits
- Fear of rejection by women and men
- Acting like a man and compromising integrity
- Harry Styles: Looking masculine
- Outward expressions of masculinity
Nic’s Instagram: @nicwarner
Nic’s website: www.nicwarner.com
Kenneth Play is an international sex expert and sex educator. From a deeply insecure Asian immigrant to over 8 million views on PornHub and being named the World’s Greatest Sex Hacker by GQ, Kenneth develops sex techniques to help couples learn new ways to connect and overcome challenges in the bedroom. His newest course features over 70+ videos and 12 hours of content, and was described by AskMen as having "at least one nugget of sexual learning you’ve almost certainly never encountered before, if not several." His teaching has been described as a mashup of Bruce Lee’s mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss’s 80/20 rule. He worked with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova to conduct the world's largest survey on squirting; with Pamela Madsen at the Back to the Body Sensual Retreats for Women; and has been a featured presenter at New York University and San Jose State University. He has devoted his life to empowering couples to close the orgasm gap and experience the best sex of their lives.
- Kenneth’s journey from Asian immigrant to Sex Hacker
- Sexual stereotypes of Asian men
- Overcoming stereotypes and facing fears
- Inner work and outer work
- Being confident and competent
- Approaching sex like a Sports Scientist
- Skill acquisition and teaching sex hacks
- Educational porn
- Sexual feedback and calibrating to your partner
- Practical tips for better sex
Kenneth’s Instagram: @kenneth_play
Kenneth’s Website: www.kennethplay.com
On episode 31 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Lorin Krenn, a Deep Intimacy coach and Writer.
Lorin helps men and women all over the globe understand masculine/feminine dynamics in their intimate relationships to experience deep intimacy through 1-on-1 coaching, workshops and masterclasses, and social media appearances. He has some Deep Intimacy virtual masterclasses coming up specifically for his Australian and Asia-Pacific community as well as for his community from the United States, Canada and Europe. Links for these masterclasses are in the show notes.
- Lorin talks about how he came to be doing this work
- Personal philosophy about working with men and women
Lorin’s Instagram: @lorinkrenn
Lorin’s Podcast: The Lorin Krenn Podcast
Lorin’s Website: lorinkrenn.com
Lorin’s Australian/Asia-Pacific masterclass: https://www.lorinkrenn.com/virtual-masterclass-december-5th/
Lorin’s US, Canada and Europe masterclass: https://www.lorinkrenn.com/virtual-masterclass/
Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser
The intention with this podcast is to platform people who perhaps haven't been part of the discourse around masculinity and sexuality in the mainstream, spiritual, Tantra and sacred sexuality communities. From sex workers, male strippers, and relationship coaches to psychosexual therapists, transgender educators and indigenous men, "Men, Sex & Pleasure" is a podcast discussing all things masculinity, sexuality, male bodies and men's experience of pleasure.