#28 Intersex: Understanding the Space Between Male & Female (with Toby Whittington)

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On episode 28 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast I chat with Toby Whittington. Toby, who uses they/them/he/him pronouns, was diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome (47 XXY karyotype) in 2010. Among other issues, Toby found out that they were not able to father children and that they don’t produce enough of their own testosterone. He started on Testosterone Replacement Therapy which set him on a path of going through adult puberty, a physical and mental transition which lasted over 8 years. Toby now openly acknowledges that they are an Intersex person and in 2020, when they came out as gender non-binary, this was the first time they felt that their biological sex and their gender identity were aligned. Toby is passionate about educating people around these issues, what it means to be Intersex and the confusion with regards to differences between biological sex, gender identity and sexual orientation. He has and promotes a very open and positive attitude towards sex, sexuality and sexual expression, so long as it is safe and that participation is between consenting adults. Toby and I talk about their experience being Intersex and how it affected their ideas of masculinity as well as what it means to “be a man.”

Key Points:
- Toby’s experience growing up un-knowingly Intersex
- Being diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome
- Testosterone Replacement Therapy and adult puberty
- Redefining personal ideas of masculinity
- Masculine, Feminine or “Humine?”
- Subverting mainstream masculinity
- Penis size and cock shaming
- Vaginas and vulvas in a phallocentric society
- What does it mean to be Intersex?
- Sex versus gender versus orientation

Relevant links:
Cam’s Instagram: @thecamfraser
Cam’s Website: www.cam-fraser.com