On episode 30 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Brenden Durell. Brenden is a former professional athlete turned life aficionado. He nudges people with laughter and inspiration so they can understand nirvana and live in every moment. Brenden also plays the game of life by being a Cacao & Breathwork Ceremonialist. He’s also a dedicated White Tantra student. His motto is “peace is the ultimate pleasure.” Brenden resides comfortably in his home, wishing he had a dog. The two of us spoke about the difference between masculine Men’s Work and feminine Men’s Work as well as how masculinity is linked to sexuality and what we can do as men to express but also regulate our emotions.
- Brenden shares a bit of his story
- What is Men’s Work?
- The difference between Men’s Work and Women’s Work
- “Masculine” Men’s Work and “Feminine” Men’s Work
- The intersection of masculinity and sexuality
- Sexuality as intimacy and vulnerability
- Oversharing and emotional instability
- Burdening your partner in a relationship
- Emotional expression and regulation
- Practical relationship advice
Brenden’s Instagram: @innerlightwarrior
Brenden’s Website: www.brendendurell.com
On this episode of Men, sex & pleasure podcast, I talk with Stevon Lewis. Stevon is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and corporate consultant. In his private practice, he specializes in working with adults struggling with Impostor Syndrome. He has been a featured expert for various major television and media platforms, including the Oprah Winfrey Network, Bustle Magazine, Thrive Global, and Entrepreneur Magazine. As a corporate consultant, he has facilitated discussions about race in the workplace for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN) and Tory Burch. In addition, he has hosted a series of workshops for A New Direction, a London-based non-profit, that provides support and development to individuals that are underrepresented in the creative and digital industries. Stevon and I discuss Impostor Syndrome as it relates to masculinity and “being a man” as well as connecting it to performance anxiety and transitioning into fatherhood.
Stevon’s Website: https://www.stevonlewis.com/
On episode 28 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast I chat with Toby Whittington. Toby, who uses they/them/he/him pronouns, was diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome (47 XXY karyotype) in 2010. Among other issues, Toby found out that they were not able to father children and that they don’t produce enough of their own testosterone. He started on Testosterone Replacement Therapy which set him on a path of going through adult puberty, a physical and mental transition which lasted over 8 years. Toby now openly acknowledges that they are an Intersex person and in 2020, when they came out as gender non-binary, this was the first time they felt that their biological sex and their gender identity were aligned. Toby is passionate about educating people around these issues, what it means to be Intersex and the confusion with regards to differences between biological sex, gender identity and sexual orientation. He has and promotes a very open and positive attitude towards sex, sexuality and sexual expression, so long as it is safe and that participation is between consenting adults. Toby and I talk about their experience being Intersex and how it affected their ideas of masculinity as well as what it means to “be a man.”
- Toby’s experience growing up un-knowingly Intersex
- Being diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome
- Testosterone Replacement Therapy and adult puberty
- Redefining personal ideas of masculinity
- Masculine, Feminine or “Humine?”
- Subverting mainstream masculinity
- Penis size and cock shaming
- Vaginas and vulvas in a phallocentric society
- What does it mean to be Intersex?
- Sex versus gender versus orientation
Cam’s Instagram: @thecamfraser
Cam’s Website: www.cam-fraser.com
On episode 27 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Courtney Brame, the Founder and podcast host of Something Positive for Positive People. As a podcast, this serves as a hub of interviews with people living with genital herpes along with his own experiences navigating stigma from diagnosis to disclosure. As a nonprofit, SPFPP raises money to pay for people who are struggling with HSV stigma to receive therapy. After his own diagnosis in 2012, Courtney navigated the world identifying heavily with his diagnosis unconsciously as you'll hear more about in this episode. After finding community, all of his problems with dating and disclosure appeared to disappear. However, this made space for underlying concerns herpes had exposed. 1 was how many people despite having community and a space for finding love regardless of their HSV status wanting to end their lives. 2 was how true to himself he was able to be with these complete strangers who had one thing in common (knowing about his HSV status) versus how hidden he was with people who'd known him most of his life who did not know about his herpes status. We talk about living with herpes, from contracting the virus and receiving a diagnosis, to managing it, how it affects your masculinity and ultimately discussing it with and disclosing it to a partner.
- Courtney’s experience receiving a diagnosis of HSV
- Grappling with a diagnosis
- Outbreaks and managing the virus
- Masculinity and sexual confidence
- Changing beliefs and combating stigma
- Something Positive for Positive People podcast
- Communication, intimacy and sexuality
- STI/STD testing
- Sexual health and ethnicity
Courtney’s Instagram: @Honmychest
Courtney’s Facebook Page: Something Positive for Positive People
On episode 26 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast , I chat with Lahnee Pavlovich. Lahnee is a Sex Educator, Lifestyle Coach and a Sex Positive Journalist. She has made a name for herself as the go-to-woman for a modern approach to sexuality & well-being, bringing you not only her expertise, but connecting you to epic humans and ideas through her various channels. This Aussie based Mum Lady, Word Wizz, Coach, Influencer and Sexual Badass found her passion helping couples, women and men live better, more fulfilling lives in and out of the bedroom by embracing a sense of overall well-being & learning to push the boundaries of what's considered "normal". Lahnee's mission is to get down and dirty to challenge society’s views on sexuality, body image & anything else people don't like talking about. Through connecting the dots between emotional, spiritual, social, intellectual, physical, and sexual well-being, Lahnee inspires others to live a better, more fulfilled, nourishing and 'turned-on’ life. We talk about her new offering, Rate Your Rooster, where Lahnee invites men to send her dick pics - for a fee! - and she provides them with a report with advice and tips about how to best use their penis.
- Lahnee’s journey to sex-positivity
- Speaking from personal experience
- Unsolicited dick pics
- Penis variety: Shapes, sizes and diversity
- “Am I normal?”
- Deep vs shallow penetration
- Clitoral stimulation and the male ego
- Sex toys and positions
- Pubic hair, body hair and personal preferences
- The ‘bigger is better’ mentality
- Normalizing conversations about sex
Lahnee’s website: https://www.lahneepavlovich.com/
Lahnee’s Instagram: @lahneeland
On episode 25 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Adam Roa. Adam is a transformational artist, founder of the online personal development community, CREATE, and the podcast host of "The Deep Dive with Adam Roa". He has been listed by Goalcast as one of the “Top 33 Gamechangers to Watch" and his viral poem, “You Are Who You’ve Been Looking For" has been viewed more than 200 million times. He has spoken on countless stages, including Oslo Freedom Forum, MindValley A-Fest, and Envision Festival. Adam has recently begun to blend his poetry into mainstream music, with his first single, "Voices", releasing on October 1st. A modern day renaissance man, he is known for his unique blend of science and spirituality wrapped in artistic mediums. We shared about our deepest fears, how they hold us back and how to use compassion to overcome them.
- Adam’s journey with masculinity
- Addressing cultural narratives about male sexuality
- Non-Goal-Oriented sexual expression
- Confusion and conflicting sexual scripts
- Deep, Karmic fear
- Performative sexuality and measuring masculinity
- The impact of the media
- Advertising and maintaining the status quo
- The fear of rejection and the fear of death
- The freedom of emotional expression
- Compassion and self-love
- Finding your support and your tribe
Adam’s CREATE community: https://thecreatecommunity.com/
Adam’s website: https://adamroa.com/
Adam’s Instagram: @adam.roa
On episode 24 of The Men, Sex & Pleaure podcast, I chat with Avi Kabani. Avi is an author who writes about the nature of sexual energy, deep states of lovemaking, and the challenges of modern-day intimate relationships. He is best known for exploring these topics in relation to men, women, culture, and self. Drawing on the work of David Deida, Avi shared with me his take on sex therapy and sexual art. We spoke about the energetics of lovemaking and how to take your sexual experiences to those deeper levels of intimacy. If you’re familiar with Deida’s work, you’ll really resonate with this conversation about sex, healing and masculinity.
- Avi shares his story and where he is now
- The challenges of bringing this work to men
- Expressions of masculinity
- Avi’s interpretation of sex therapy
- Sexual healing and why it is necessary
- Sexual art and energetical lovemaking
- David Deida: Function, Flow and Glow
- Masculinity and the military
- Advice for deepening intimacy
Avi’s website: https://www.avikabani.com/
Avi’s Instagram: @avi_kabani
Views and opinions expressed by Avi Kabani do not reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company.
On episode 23 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast I chat with Lucas Aoun, a leading Australian biohacker, with a global mission to optimize wellbeing, physical and mental performance. He is currently completing his Naturopathy degree in Melbourne. He is highly respected in the realm of Nootropics, Testosterone optimization, and athletic performance. We talk about testosterone and why men should care about their testosterone levels. We also discuss dopamine and other neurotransmitters as well as how to optimize your sexual health with testicle icing. If you’re interested in biohacking your body, this is the episode for you.
- Lucas tells us about his experiences with nootropics
- Optimizing health and performance
- What is testosterone and why should we care about it?
- Too much vs too little testosterone
- Natural ways to optimize T levels
- Other hormones and their impact on our body
- Dopamine: Detoxing and depletion
- The benefits of icing your testicles
- More tips and advice for optimizing your sexual health
Lucas’ Website: https://www.ergogenic.health/
Lucas’ Instagram: @ergogenic_health
Free Testosterone Webinar: https://www.ergogenichealth.com.au/masterclass/testosterone
Free Sleep Hacks Webinar: https://www.ergogenichealth.com.au/masterclass/sleep
On episode 22 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Matthew Ayriss. Matthew is a Masculinity and Sacred Sexuality Men’s Coach, Shamanic-Somatic Healer & Conscious Content Creator. Matthew facilitates online group coaching programs, in-person immersive experiences, men's retreats, tantra and transformational festivals and has hosted men's circles and group Men’s retreats across the world. Currently running the 3rd round of his online group coaching program for men, The Pillar - Masculine Sexual and Emotional Mastery. Through his one-on-one work and online programs, Matthew guides men into deepening their masculine purpose integrating and understanding the conditioning of their past, their desires and fears and becoming the master of their sexual energy. Over the years as a healer and facilitator he has supported both men and women in coming into their fullest expression of their authentic self, healing and integrating their past wounding while supporting them in embodying the essence of who they truly are, guiding his clients in stepping into their most authentic and fulfilling life. Matthew and I spoke about unhealthy and healthy expressions of masculinity and femininity. We also shared opinions about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s ‘WAP’ song. We also addressed self-love, overcoming male body shame and transforming masturbation.
- Matthew shares some of his journey
- Masculine and feminine cross polarity
- Healthy vs Unhealthy expressions
- ‘WAP’ and contemporary sexual expression
- Problems with language and media
- Grounded masculinity
- Self-love, self-pleasure and self-worth
- Male body positivity
- Transforming masturbation with prostate play.
Matthew’s website: www.themasculinepillar.com
On episode 21 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I had the pleasure of talking with Mental Health Practitioner, Tobias Penno, Bach. Sci. Engineering, Masters of Social Work (Hons; Research Prize Faculty of Health & Medical Science UWA) Tobias is an Emotional Health Practitioner & Social Worker with a background in Government Child Protection and Counselling. After years of professionally managing extreme child, family and relationship stress, Tobias has found his passion in healing Emotional Pain & Trauma through the body. Tobias currently runs a clinical practice, Emotional Healthcare, where he combines somatic techniques with narrative therapy, as well as working with people to prepare and integrate psychedelic experiences. Tobias is a researcher at the University of Western Australia, with an award-winning dissertation titled How Ayahuasca Offers Psychosocial Wellbeing, and is currently working on a PhD researching the links between attachment trauma, the body, and best-practice in psychedelic integration therapy. We spoke about the similarities between the sexuality and psychedelic industries and communities, from the challenges to the successes.
- Tobias shares a bit of his story
- Therapeutic vs Recreational use of drugs
- What it's like to have sex on psychedelics
- Psychedelic vs Antidepressant model of therapy
- Integration and aftercare for peak experiences
- Supporting altered states of consciousness
- The ACE model of intervention
- Fast food analogy of sex and drugs
- MDMA assisted psychotherapy
- Using ecstasy for ecstatic self-pleasure
Tobias' website: https://www.emotionalhealthcare.com.au/
Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser
The intention with this podcast is to platform people who perhaps haven't been part of the discourse around masculinity and sexuality in the mainstream, spiritual, Tantra and sacred sexuality communities. From sex workers, male strippers, and relationship coaches to psychosexual therapists, transgender educators and indigenous men, "Men, Sex & Pleasure" is a podcast discussing all things masculinity, sexuality, male bodies and men's experience of pleasure.